恶搞之家（1999）
Family Guy S10E01
Part 1
2023年5月24日 15:58
It seems today that all you see
Is violence in movies and sex on TV
But where are those good old-fashioned values
On which we used to rely?
Lucky there's a family guy
Lucky there's a man who positively can do...
呃 呃 等等 等等
Uh, uh, hold it.Hold it.
怎…怎么回事
What-what...what's going on here?
我怀孕了
I'm pregnant.
潜规则了吧 傻♥逼♥了吧
你…你什么
You...you're what?
是啊
Yeah.
我们正演到一半呢
We're in the middle of a thing here.
但你一直没回我的短♥信♥
Well, you didn't return any of my texts.
那这…这是怎么回事
So what-what...so what's going on?
你…你想…想要我载你一程
You-you...you want,like,a...a ride to the place?
Peter 怎么回事
Peter,what's going on?
怎么回事 Lois 就是这女孩
What's going on, Lois,is that this girl
明显不太舒服 而且我接到通知
is obviously not well,and I have just learned
说她一直在偷这个节目组的东西
that she's been stealing from the show,
她应该马上被带出去
and she should probably be escorted out of the building.
Family Guy 10x01
Lottery Fever
Nah, nah
Family Guy.
现在我们回到
ANNOUNCER (over TV):We now return
为山羊剪辑的星际迷航2:可汗之怒版本
to Star Trek II:The Wrath of Khan,edited for goats.
永远被放逐于
KHAN(over speaker):Marooned for all eternity
死星的中心
in the center of a dead planet.
被活埋掉
Buried alive.
被活埋掉
Buried alive.
Lois 我需要2万8千刀
Lois, I need $28,000.
用来干什么
For what?
我决定开一家寿司店
I've decided I want to open a sushi restaurant.
你对于寿司知道些什么
What do you know about sushi?
我才不关心什么寿司呢
I don't care about the sushi.
我是只想当顾客走进门时对他们吼叫
I just want to yell at customers when they walk in the door.
("初次见面"神马的)
来了个黑哥们
Here comes a black guy!
Peter你别想拿到钱
Peter, you're not getting money
不管是开店还是其他任何事
for that or anything else.
我们现在已经基本没什么现钱了
We're running seriously low on cash right now.
事实上 我可能不得不去找个全职工作了
In fact,I may have to get my own full-time job.
天啊 我们已经拮据到这种程度了
Geez.Are we really living that close to the edge?
你知道的啊 Brian
You know we are, Brian.
不然你以为我们为什么等那么长时间
Why do you think we waited so long
才在上个月才带你去宠物美容店
to take you to the groomer's last month?
嘿 是不是该给我去剔个毛了
Hey,isn't it time for me to get a haircut?
哦 不用吧 我想你不是才去过么
Oh,no.I think you just got one.
你确定
Are you sure?
因为我觉得我的指甲真的很长了
'Cause I feel like my nails are really long.
好吧 我会留意的 但我肯定
Yeah,I'll check,but I'm pretty sure
再过个1 2周也不要紧
it's not for another couple of weeks.
现在是什么日子了
What day is this?
不管你愿不愿意 我们这段时间
Like it or not,we're going to have to start
得用有限的开支度日了
living on a strict budget for a while.
晚上好 我是Tom Tucker 这里是
Good evening.I'm Tom Tucker,and this is...
新闻…
News...
我以为你会和我一起唱的 Joyce
I thought you were going to sing with me, Joyce.
好吧 今日头条新闻
Okay. Our top story tonight.
罗德岛州彩票
The Rhode Island State Lottery
声称头奖已经累积到150,000,000刀的奖金了
has climbed to a record $150 million jackpot.
没错 Tom
That's right, Tom.
强力球的热潮已经正式席卷Quahog了
Powerball fever has officially gripped Quahog.
美一种彩票
我们派遣了第五频道新闻亚洲记者
We sent Channel Five News Asian correspondent
Tricia Takanawa在镇上采访♥民♥众的反应
Tricia Takanawa around town to get the public reaction.
Wset市长 如果你赢了彩票准备干什么
Mayor West,what do you plan to do if you win the lottery?
呃 我肯定会很炫耀地给自己置办一身
Well, I'd finally splurge and buy myself
那种高档的4件式套装
one of those fancy four-piece suits.
我想加入你们的乡村俱乐部
I'd like to join your country club.
我想这肯定不会有问题的
I assume that won't be a problem.
那你们呢 世上仅存的每个波斯(现称伊朗)人
And how about you,every Persian guy in the world?
当然是白色的BMW(宝马)啦
ALL:White BMW.
就是这样 Lois
There you go, Lois.
那就是解决我们困境的办法
That's the answer right there.
只要我们赢得彩票就行了
We'll just win the lottery.
事实上 我现在就要去买♥♥我那中奖彩票了
In fact,I'm going to go buy my winning ticket right now.
Peter 怎么了
Peter, what's wrong?
没…呃…没什么
It's, uh, nothing.
我要等一会
I'm just going to wait a minute.
外面有一些穿紧身牛仔裤的小青年
There's teenagers in skinny jeans out there.
大伙们 我有好消息要说
Everyone, I got big news.
我们要发财了
We are going to be rich.
天啊 peter
Oh, my God, Peter.
你买♥♥了成千张彩票
There are thousands of lottery tickets here.
你哪来的钱买♥♥这些的
Where did you get the money for all these?
简单 我把我们的房♥子第二次抵押了
Simple.I took out a second mortgage on the house.
什么 Peter 你傻了啊
What?!Peter, this is idiotic.
你赢的几率只有百万分之一
Your odds of winning are like 100 million to one.
你难道不知道彩票是傻子交的另一个税么
Don't you know the lottery is just a tax on stupid people?
如果奖品是
Would you be saying that if the prize
1亿5千万包邻居家的垃圾你还会这么说吗(狗的爱好)
was 150 million bags of the neighbor's garbage?
但不是啊
But it's not.
我…我是说 有么
I mean... I mean, is it?
这…这完全是个不切实际而且不搭界的问题
It's... that-that is an unrealistic,unfair question.
Peter Brian是对的
Peter, Brian's right.
你怎么能这样不负责任
How can you be so irresponsible?
你马上把这些彩票退回去
You take these tickets back right now.
没门 lois
No way, Lois.
我们会赢的
We're going to win.
我在劳军表演时结了
I got lots of good karma built up
很多的善缘
from doing those USO shows.
USO=United Services Organization是美国劳军联合组织
所以 显然 他们找到了
So, apparently, they found
一种大规模破坏性武器 我的轻击杆
a weapon of mass destruction-- my putter.
好了 小伙子们 去搞定他们吧
All right,boys.Go get 'em over there.
现在 有请 Burce Jenner先生
And now, please welcome Mr. Bruce Jenner.
美前奥♥运♥会田径运动员 获得过10项全能金牌
现在是演说家 公众 电视名人
模仿了欧美卡♥通♥里大灰狼发♥情♥的片段
只是想提醒你们一下
Just wanted to remind you fellas
在为什么而战斗
what you're all fighting for.
好了 就是现在 大伙们
Okay,this is it,you guys.
他们要宣布获奖的彩票号♥码了
They're going to announce the winning lottery numbers.
Griffin一家命中注定的时刻到了
Time for the Griffin family to meet its destiny.
我们输了的话 我要和你离婚
When we lose,I'm getting a divorce.
了解
Understood.
我们现在在演播室里直播 一个穿着
We're here live in our studio where a checkout girl
廉价衣服想要成为模特的收银女孩
in a cheap dress who wants to be a model
准备好抽出中奖号♥码了
is ready to draw the winning numbers.
"E!"
那是个3 亲爱的
TUCKER:That's a three,honey.
转过来
Turn it around.
这个
This.
Thirty-one.
恐怖鬼魂的嘴巴
Spooky ghost mouth.
那是个0
That's a zero.
雪人
Snowman.
Eight.
2艘帆船
Two sailboats.
Forty-four.
Seventeen.
不 那是… 哦 对 就是17
No,that's...Oh, yes, that is 17.
她挺善于认17的
She's good at 17.
好了 各位 这些就是中奖号♥码
Well,folks,those are our winning numbers.
祝那些所有…
Good luck to all of our...
Twenty-four!
不 就那样了 已经结束了
No,that's it. We're done.
观众请不要算上24
Anyone watching,do not count 24.
煎饼
pancakes
恶搞之家（1999）
Family Guy
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